Milwaukee, WI – According to those familiar with the incident, Timothy Jones, a 24 year-old grad student in Systematic Theology at Marquette University, recently collapsed God into creation. During an offhand discussion of Hegel’s Philosophy of Religion Lectures in Coughlin Hall, Jones apparently stated, before several innocent bystanders, women and children, that given Hegel’s irrefutable account of the mediation of identity through otherness God only reaches self-consciousness through God’s own historical dealings within and as the created order. Jones’ statement was immediately followed by gasps, crying children, and stammerings from other PhD students and a janitor who was just walking by. A source who wishes to remain anonymous reported, “I just couldn’t believe that Jones went there and collapsed God into creation. He just thinks he’s so gangsta!” God has not been seen or heard from since.
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